 Pujya Swamiji with his beloved Spiritual Darlings
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In the Divine Life Society of South Africa all children are referred to as "Spiritual Darlings". This most beautiful and endearing term was used by our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, when he wrote to one of his disciples.
Swami Sivananda says that the bringing up of Spiritual Darlings is a great art and science. It can only be successfully accomplished if parents have right knowledge and adequate training.
We hope that this will prove to be a helpful guide to parents. It should be used as such, and not viewed as a set of rigid rules to be applied absolutely. Spiritual Darlings can be easily moulded and, with the correct balance of love and discipline, together with deep spirituality, parents can help shape the character and destiny of the child.
The simple guidelines presented to parents here should help them to be living examples and good role models to their Spiritual Darlings, while exerting a decisive influence upon them.
Parents should also take advantage of all the facilities provided by the Divine Life Society, both at Reservoir Hills and at the Sivananda International Cultural Centre, La Mercy. Many Spiritual Darlings regularly attend the one day monthly Yoga Camp at the SICC, where the teachings of the holy scriptures and of our Divine Master are imparted to them. These teachings play a very important role in their mental, emotional and spiritual growth.
The most beautiful Sivananda International Cultural Centre is located at La Mercy, about half an hour drive from Durban. Situated amidst rolling hills and green canefields, it overlooks the Indian Ocean.
At this centre various facilities have been provided for Spiritual Darlings. "Ganga Rani", the large enclosed swimming pool is a great attraction. The magnificent "Sivananda Stadium", sportsfields and playparks provide healthful recreation. Training in the recently introduced gymnastic drill programme enables the Spiritual Darlings to develop qualities like discipline, concentration, how to interact with others, etc. This type of physical training, together with instructions on prayer, moral and ethical values will help Spiritual Darlings to grow into successful and strong adults, well equipped to meet the challenges of life. Various arts and crafts programmes help to develop their talents further.
There are lovely shrines to uplift and inspire Spiritual Darlings. A section next to a shrine houses beautiful pictures of animals, birds, flowers, scenic wonders, etc. This is called the "Sivananda Nature Reserve". It teaches Spiritual Darlings to protect Nature and to show love and compassion to birds, animals and even to plants. This section, too, is a great attraction to all Spiritual Darlings as well as to adults. The attractive water fountain—"Bhagirathi", with water cascading from one fountain to another, uplifts the hearts of Spiritual Darlings. Darlings.
The major portion of the information contained in this booklet is based on the teachings of our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, and is the outcome of many years of training given to Spiritual Darlings during the Yoga Camps, which we have been conducting for about 15 years now.
THE ROLE OF PARENTS
1. Parents must set a good example to their Spiritual Darlings by being exemplary role models. Children are very good imitators. Modern children especially are observant, sharp and critical. They easily detect the flaws in their parents, and their trust in them then begins to wane.
2. Parents should be well disciplined, and practise living by strict moral and ethical codes. Ethics and morals are the basis of life. These values need to be emulated by Spiritual Darlings. Parents should teach by example that there should be no compromise of principles and values. In their daily life, be it at work, within the home or socially, they should exercise their minds and will through deliberate acts of self-denial and self-sacrifice.
3. Parents should carry out their daily spiritual practices regularly, and bring home to their Spiritual Darlings the importance of prayer and the power of the Divine Name. This will show the Spiritual Darlings that with faith and devotion to God no problem will be too difficult to overcome. During difficult times, prayer and repetition of the Divine Name should be intensified.
4. Parents should inculcate in their Spiritual Darlings values such as honesty, truthfulness, loyalty, kindness, love, compassion, respectability, forgiveness, obedience, humility, courtesy, courage, tolerance and discrimination. Spiritual Darlings will imbibe these virtues readily and easily only if parents practise them.
5. Virtues can be taught to Spiritual Darlings through the medium of stories from the writings of our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, and scriptures like the Mahabharata, Ramayana and Bhagavata. Hero-worship is not difficult to awaken in young minds.
6. Spiritual Darlings must be taught the basic principles of Hinduism, such as Ahimsa (non-injury), Karma (the law of cause and effect), reincarnation, etc.
7. Parents should be mindful that their Spiritual Darlings live in a culture of violence. This is seen everywhere—on TV, in the media, at school, in the neighbourhood, in the country, and in the whole world at large. This is the age of hatred, intolerance, violence and indiscipline. This social disturbance and psychological imbalance, together with a decline in the practice of positive values and rise in crime, is very destructive to the developing psyche of Spiritual Darlings. That is why they have weak nerves and a different mental make-up. Unhealthy mental impressions developed during childhood leave scars that will be carried over to the next birth.
8. Working parents must be careful not to bring home their work-related problems. Leave work concerns behind and organise quality time at home for the family.
9. Parents need to spend quality time at home with their Spiritual Darlings. This quality time should involve positive, free and sincere interaction with all members of the family.
10. Responsible shared parenting is necessary at home, especially where both parents work. The father, too, must take responsibility for the growth and development of his Spiritual Darlings, helping them in their education, discipline and spiritual growth. Self-confidence and self-reliance must be encouraged.
11. Parents must ensure that the diet of their Spiritual Darlings is free from too much sugar and spices, as these make the mind restless and increase tension. They should adopt a Sattwic diet. Many illnesses are probably related to meat-eating, due to the presence of chemicals present in it.
THE ART OF APPRECIATION
Parents should never utter harsh words or resort to corporal punishment in dealing with their Spiritual Darlings. Instead, they should resort to the art of appreciation and praise in dealing with them.
The Divine Master, Swami Sivananda, says: "If the art of praise is absent, then success in dealing with Spiritual Darlings and leading them properly on the spiritual path will indeed be meagre."
The following hints may be helpful while resorting to the art of praise and appreciation:
1. Take care to always praise your Spiritual Darlings even if the task has not been done properly. Praise and appreciation always have miraculous effects, not only with regard to children but also while interacting with adults.
2. Do not hesitate to praise your Spiritual Darlings in the presence of their friends or elders.
3. A written word or two praising your Spiritual Darlings will be greatly treasured by them.
4. A picture or card, a useful picture book, a small bag, are all useful tools in getting the best out of your Spiritual Darlings.
5. Finally, a sweet smile, a nod, a pat on the back, a hug, a "well done", can achieve wonders in training and transforming your Spiritual Darlings.
The Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, was an adept in utilising the art of praise and appreciation when dealing with his devotees and others. Of course, his words were not just ordinary words. They came from the Lord Himself, so the results were miraculous.
DEALING WITH COMPLAINTS
Parents should not be too hasty in dealing with the complaints of their Spiritual Darlings. They should act only after proper thought, consultation and careful investigation. This is indeed a very important point to remember when dealing with Spiritual Darlings, who may often report incorrectly, exaggerate, or even utter deliberate untruths in making their complaints. If the matter is important, some action should be taken with caution. But if the matter is not important, parents should advise their Spiritual Darlings to learn to forgive and forget, to bear with patience, to pray for others, to be cheerful, to seek the strength and guidance of God, etc.
If Spiritual Darlings learn to forgive and forget quickly, to bear with patience any problem they encounter with others at school or elsewhere, they will soon grow strong mentally and spiritually. Asserting one's rights continually, even in minor matters, will weaken both Spiritual Darlings and parents, and bring in its train nothing but disharmony, hatred, jealousy, rivalry, frustration, etc.
Even if Spiritual Darlings are right, parents should teach them to ignore the problem if it is not serious. Only in this way will they become strong and saintly.
If parents always try to uphold the rights of their Spiritual Darlings, and satisfy all their demands, gradually it will have a weakening effect on them. The result will easily be seen when they later enter the life of a householder or take up employment. We see today how husbands, wives and Spiritual Darlings are fighting for their rights even over trivial matters, thereby disrupting the peaceful home atmosphere and bringing pain and misery to those around them. This attitude should be carefully avoided.
INTERACTING WITH SPIRITUAL DARLINGS
1. Understand the individual nature of each child. Do not compare or criticize your Spiritual Darlings. Know the strengths, limitations, talents and potentials of each Spiritual Darling and help him positively according to his own individual make-up. Spiritual Darlings have to be consulted in their own growth. They should be allowed to expand in accordance to their inner nature. There can be no greater error than for parents to arrange prematurely what their Spiritual Darlings should be. Parents should not pre-arrange the careers of their Spiritual Darlings, but they should not hesitate to guide them with patience, kindness and understanding. Forcing Spiritual Darlings against their wishes will do permanent harm and negatively affect their natural growth.
2. Of course, parents should encourage their Spiritual Darlings to excel in their academic career, but they should take care not to pressurise them. Allow them to learn and grow naturally by means of praise and encouragement rather than by scolding and threats.
3. Parents should aim to teach their Spiritual Darlings how to make personal sacrifices and lead a hard life. They should try to follow Swami Sivananda's principle of simple living and high thinking. In addition, they should be taught to joyously participate in household tasks. Spiritual Darlings should be given difficult tasks in and around the house. If they tackle such tasks with enthusiasm, they will become strong both physically and mentally. As outlined earlier, reward Spiritual Darlings for work well done.
4. Teach Spiritual Darlings by example how to be thrifty. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary opulence. Encourage activities like missing a meal or two, sleeping on the floor, having an occasional cold bath in winter, giving up sugar or salt for a couple of days, etc. Such simple penance and self-denial will help Spiritual Darlings to experience how the less privileged live. It will develop in them love and sympathy for those who are poor and needy. This exposure will be very helpful to them to cultivate value systems.
5. Parents should be careful to dress in accordance to Hindu ideals. Set standards for yourself—and your Spiritual Darlings are sure to follow your example.
PRACTICE OF IMPORTANT VIRTUES
Parents should educate their Spiritual Darlings in the practice of Brahmacharya, as taught by the Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda. This is one of the most vital duties of parents. The Divine Master was one of the few saints of this modern age who wrote in great detail on how to practise Brahmacharya. The instructions are positive, simple to understand and not difficult to practise in daily life.
Practice of Brahmacharya is dealt with in detail in our nine-volume Yoga Lessons for Children, and Science of Yoga series in eight volumes. In God is My Guide, the practice of Brahmacharya is imparted to Spiritual Darlings in a most delightful dialogue form.
Spiritual Darlings should be warned of the harmful effects of loss of the vital force, like loss of memory, will-power, deterioration of health, etc. Preserving the vital force will strengthen memory and will-power and give good health. They should also be advised not to move freely with members of the opposite sex.
Many Spiritual Darlings attending the one day monthly Yoga Camp at the Sivananda International Cultural Centre have thanked their teachers for imparting this precious knowledge to them. Some remarked that they had never heard such instructions before. Practice of Brahmacharya invariably results in radiant health and strong mind.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD
According to our saints, it is quite possible to will the conception of a child capable of manifesting the highest ideals of Hindu Dharma. The mother's state of mind during her pregnancy, the living environment, as well as her own spirituality, markedly influence the child that she is to bring forth. For example, Swami Vivekananda's mother ardently prayed to Lord Siva for a divine child. The result was that she brought forth the great Swami Vivekananda.
If a mother is surrounded by peace, calm and beauty, if her thoughts are pure and noble, she would give birth to a child with noble qualities. Thus, the nature and character of the child to be born depends much upon the mother's thoughts, her feelings, her environment and the ideals cherished by her during pregnancy.
During pregnancy the mother should be careful to partake only of Sattwic and nourishing foods. She should be regular in her daily prayer, Bhajan and Japa. She should read books like the Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagavata. If she is a devotee of the Divine Life Society, she should read the works of our Divine Master, especially his biography, From Man to God-man, Sivananda's Gospel of Divine Life and Guidance in Daily Life.
The mother-to-be should avoid social gatherings, moving about freely in streets, visiting places of gambling and vulgar dancing, and places where liquor is consumed. The unholy vibrations in these places are sure to have an adverse effect on her and on the child to be born.
She should be careful not to take harmful drugs, tobacco, liquor and impure foods. She should always remember that she is moulding a new body that is to carry a soul. Her every thought, word and action will affect the child to be born.
We see today many children that are not normal, either physically or mentally. This may be due to the above reasons.
The development of the child from birth onwards is an ongoing process. Thus, parenting also is an ongoing process. The guidelines given in this section should be followed consistently throughout the period of growth, and will apply to any given time. Parents should handle the problems of their Spiritual Darlings by understanding the various stages of their growth from childhood to adulthood.
A toddler cannot be punished for playing with electricity or with fire, as he does not understand the consequences. Spiritual Darlings are often punished for things that they do not understand or are even aware of. This makes them confused and fearful.
Spiritual Darlings are curious beings, learning through the senses of touch, sound, sight and taste. Their intellects are ever expanding. Try to understand your Spiritual Darlings and teach with patience and love. With the older Spiritual Darling, begin to reason, and teach through open communication and not so much through commands. Consistent disciplining through love and reason goes further than army tactics.
The adolescent years are the most turbulent years of growth, and very stressful on the parent-child relationship. Remember that during this period the children are neither little Spiritual Darlings nor adults. They are more independent than Spiritual Darlings, but not totally independent of their parents. They need to be understood within this framework.
Living the spiritual way is of paramount importance during these turbulent years, as it is the time of identity formation of the individual. During this period peer group and significant models of leadership have a major impact on future development. The role of spirituality within the family, and the influence of the Divine Life Society on our adolescent Spiritual Darlings will help contribute towards an integrated image as unique persons.
Attendance at Satsangs, Yoga Camps and all the major functions of the Society are important, as are daily home Satsangs, maintenance of the spiritual diary and reading of our Divine Master's books. Special importance must be given to practice of Brahmacharya, as the adolescent period is the period of rapid sexual development through puberty into adulthood.
That our parents are our first God is a basic teaching of Hinduism. Obedience to God and Guru is impossible without obedience to parents. Parents must discuss this with their Spiritual Darlings, as they are now at an age when they are intellectually able to understand the reasoning behind this injunction.
DISCIPLINING SPIRITUAL DARLINGS
The one area in which most parents seem to have great difficulty is that of discipline. Often parents unknowingly impose negative forms of discipline that have far-reaching effects on Spiritual Darlings. Negative forms of discipline include the use of corporal punishment and psychological abuse, which frustrate children and make them defiant.
The following guidelines offer positive disciplinary codes of conduct.
1. Love and discipline should go together.
2. Discipline is quite necessary as the Spiritual Darlings are innocent and continuously learning, with the parents being their foremost teachers.
3. The most important thing in dealing with your Spiritual Darlings is to practise the art of praise, appreciation and encouragement. Always attempt to be positive, and avoid negative comments about the child. Believe in them, so that they can believe in themselves and emphasize their assets and strong points. Acknowledge their attempts to complete their allotted tasks. Also point out your joy at any improvements. This will help build their self-confidence.
4. Spiritual Darlings want the attention of their parents. Parents must ensure that they get this attention for good behaviour and not for being mischievous. This can be achieved by praising good deeds and ignoring minor faults and mischiefs that are not embarrassing and destructive.
5. Parents should let their Spiritual Darlings face the consequences of their actions (within obvious limits of safety). For example, if the child forgets his jersey let him feel the cold.
6. State clearly the mutually accepted basic rules and the consequences of breaking them. Be consistent in applying the rules. However, if new information regarding an issue becomes available, be flexible and adapt your interpretation to the situation.
7. Parents should strictly monitor the viewing of TV, as a lot of havoc is caused by it. If possible it should be given up completely. In the booklet Solving the Problems of Kali Yuga it is stated how our spiritual merits are lost through bad company, free mixing with the opposite sex, reading books dealing with murder, sex and violence, visiting gambling houses and liquor shops, and witnessing or participating in vulgar dancing, etc.
Parents should also keep a vigilant eye on their Spiritual Darlings to ascertain whether they are associating with bad company, taking drugs, indulging in immoral acts, etc. Many of these habits are acquired by watching TV, or while they are at school. Steps should be taken to counteract these habits.
8. Regular practice of Yoga Asanas, physical exercises and games are absolutely necessary. Spiritual Darlings must be trained to "go beyond the comfort zone". This will develop will-power and physical strength. They must be encouraged to do physical work that is demanding. This will make them tough. Spiritual Darlings should not be unduly protected from rain and sun. This would make them less hardy. If they perform difficult and responsible tasks at home, they will grow strong enough to meet the challenges at school. They will not succumb to peer pressure.
9. Use the power of free and sincere communication and interaction. Use reason to make Spiritual Darlings see and understand their bad behaviour. Teenagers especially feel highly elated if they are consulted in family matters and decision making. This is one way in which to approach the teenager in a positive manner by building his self-esteem and increasing his sense of responsibility.
10. Withdraw certain meaningful privileges if Spiritual Darlings are dishonest or naughty.
11. "Time-out" or a period of removal to a quiet place until the Spiritual Darling is ready to behave appropriately is very effective, especially in the middle childhood period.
12. Ignoring temper-tantrums, especially in the young Spiritual Darling, is very necessary. In this way the parent does not fan the flame of anger and frustration but allows it to die down, after which the parent can speak to the Spiritual Darling and try to understand the frustration that is causing the tantrum. It is a well-known fact that Spiritual Darlings sometimes use a temper-tantrum to gain parental attention.
13. Attention-seeking behaviour is usually presented in the form of negative, destructive behaviour, which often elicit negative response from the parent. Be careful of this and do not react negatively. Ignore the negative behaviour of the Spiritual Darling until he quietens down, and then in a positive and firm manner talk to him and offer appropriate guidelines for acceptable behaviour.
14. In conclusion we would like to state that the Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, was quite firm in the matter of disciplining Spiritual Darlings. Said the Master in one of his poems written about fifty years ago: "Children should not be allowed to indulge in reading novels, attending the cinema and smoking. If they persist in these evil habits make them starve for one full day!"
SPIRITUAL TRAINING
If spiritual life forms the main foundation of the household, then everything else goes on smoothly. If parents and their Spiritual Darlings take complete refuge in God and in the Guru, then all problems, whether mental, physical or material can be solved without much difficulty. God or the Guru takes complete charge of those who surrender to Him. This is indeed the goal of this human birth.
1. Both parents and their Spiritual Darlings should be trained to perform daily Bhajan and Kirtan. They should study holy scriptures and the books of saints and sages. If Spiritual Darlings are taught to sit in silence with closed eyes and perform their Japa or recitation of the Divine Name, they will soon develop a serene and peaceful attitude.
Spritual Darlings of today are extremely restless. They cannot sit still even for a few seconds. Sitting in silence during Satsang, and during the morning or evening prayers, will help them to overcome their restless nature.
Reflexology is a very effective method of calming Spiritual Darlings when they are inclined to get restless.
2. Spiritual Darlings should be thoroughly trained to take refuge in God, in the Guru, and in the Divine Name. This can be done through regular daily prayer and attendance at Satsangs. The one day monthly Yoga Camp is a must for all Spiritual Darlings of the Divine Life Society. They should be taught how to call for God during times of temptation and danger. The power and glory of the Divine Name should be brought home to them. They should be taught to repeat the Divine Name at all times during the course of the day.
3. If Spiritual Darlings know how to call for God or the Guru, and how to take refuge in the Divine Name, they will be able to meet all dangers, trials and temptations successfully.
Spiritual Darlings of the Divine Life Society are taught to repeat the formula: Gurudev, please protect me, Gurudev, when they encounter any danger and temptation. They are taught to keep the Sri Ram Mantra always on their lips. They repeat the Mantra the last thing when they are about to fall asleep, and the first thing when they wake up in the morning. They are taught to always keep in mind the following powerful formula: "When Gurudev or God is near why should I fear."
The above positive attitude will also help them in their performance at school. It will give them more concentration and will-power.
It must be clearly noted that without a firm spiritual foundation, success in bringing up Spiritual Darlings will not be easy.
PEER PRESSURE
1. It is not difficult to overcome peer pressure. Spiritual Darlings of the Divine Life Society successfully meet these challenges because they have courage, will-power and faith in our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda. They have faith in the power of the Sri Ram Mantra.
2. Spiritual Darlings should be taught to smile and keep quiet when taunted by peer pressure. They should not get upset or feel afraid. They should not care if their friends jeer at them. If Spiritual Darlings react in this manner, then those who try to dominate them will soon come to respect and revere them.
3. Spiritual Darlings should be taught to be careful not to join bad company, not to associate with those who take drugs, not to move too closely with members of the opposite sex. They should not accept any eatables from friends at school, as such eatables might contain drugs.
4. They should be taught not to read literature dealing with violence, murder, sex and other harmful topics.
THE EFFECTIVE REMEDY
If parents and their Spiritual Darlings resort to constant prayer with faith and devotion, then all tribulations and trials can be overcome. Here is an effective formula used by a devotee of the Divine Master, Swami Sivananda, to triumph over difficulties that seemed insurmountable:
Everything else in the universe may fail, but the Grace of Sri Gurudev will never fail.
1. When parents are at a loss as to how to deal with and discipline their Spiritual Darlings, they should adopt the following procedure:
Get a clear mental picture of your Spiritual Darling and, while concentrating on it, repeat with faith and devotion the Sri Ram or any other Mantra. When a Mantra is repeated a particular vibration is created. This vibration will go to the Spiritual Darling, give strength and bring about the needed transformation. God will shower His Grace quickly on you if you adopt this method, instead of giving way to impatience and anger.
2. The above method is also effective when dealing with a Spiritual Darling who takes to pilfering or lying. Together with Japa, silent positive suggestions must be given to the child while he is asleep. This will act on the subconscious mind and bring about a change. For example, if the child has the habit of uttering lies all the time, the following suggestions may be given while he is asleep:
My sweet Spiritual Darling, you are a truthful child. You are pure. You will always speak the truth bravely. Gurudev will give you strength to speak the truth without any fear. His blessings are always upon you.
Give this type of suggestion in a calm tone, without any undue emphasis. It should be repeated a dozen times or more, just after the Spiritual Darling has fallen asleep.
TRAINING AT HOME
1. From a very young age Spiritual Darlings must be trained to participate in regular domestic tasks, like washing, ironing and folding clothes, drying and packing dishes, sweeping, dusting, mopping the floors, cleaning windows, gardening, washing the car, etc. If the spiritual touch is added, then they will know that all these tasks are worship of God or the Guru, and are just as effective as praying and doing Japa of a Mantra. They should be taught to mentally offer the tasks to God or the Guru, before and after performing them.
2. Spiritual Darlings should be taught to adopt a sense of perfection when they undertake their tasks. Then only will such tasks be acceptable to God. Tasks performed with perfection and love are like performing rituals before the Deity in a temple. If the tasks are performed in such a manner, Spiritual Darlings will feel a sense of pride also.
3. Performing tasks perfectly means that all material things must also be taken care of and given the consideration due to them. Spiritual Darlings should be taught not to damage things, to handle tools and other things with love and care, and not to misuse them. Articles that need repair should be attended to without delay.
The Mother of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, who was one of the greatest occultists of our times, always said that material things have a soul of their own, and they respond to the way one handles them.
She related how, when her disciple took her to a shop to purchase timber, a log lying outside the shop pleaded to her to be purchased, as it wanted to go to her Ashram. At another time, while walking across a room, she suddenly stopped. When asked by her devotee why she acted in that manner, she said, "The carpet asked me, 'Mother, how do you like me?'"
Mother Saradamani, Sri Ramakrishna's divine consort, requested a devotee not to handle a broom carelessly as it had life in it.
Similarly, we find in the case of our Divine Master, how he used to mentally prostrate to stones, bricks and donkeys, seeing the Divine in them.
If they happen to accidentally kick a chair, Spiritual Darlings should be taught to apologise and do Namaskars to it. In this way they will become noble and saintly in no time. Spiritual Darlings will take to such precepts with great joy.
4. It is advisable to put a time framework to each task. This will increase productivity, concentration and develop the will. Parents must take pains to teach the basic skills with patience. One of the most fundamental tasks that require perfection is the art of sweeping. Parents will do well to bear the following points in the initial stages:
(a) How to hold a broom.
(b) Posture when sweeping.
(c) Awareness of the corners and remote parts of the room being cleaned.
(d) Where possible, moving the furniture to do the sweeping, and not just sweeping around it.
(e) Sweeping first and then cleaning windows, as dust will arise during sweeping and settle on the windows, furniture and household appliances.
5. Cleaning should become second nature in Spiritual Darlings. They should be taught to arrange their books, clothes and toys neatly in their room. The drawers should be clean and not kept in an untidy condition. There should be a sense of beauty and cleanliness in the room. Colourful pictures of birds, flowers, animals, reptiles, scenic wonders, etc. should be hung neatly on the walls. Such pictures are available from the Divine Life Society.
Spiritual Darlings should be taught that by applying the principles of beauty, neatness and cleanliness in their daily life and habits they are worshipping Mother Saraswati most effectively.
It is needless to say that if Spiritual Darlings are taught such healthful habits, when they later take up tasks in adult life, there will be great efficiency, and the earning capacity also will be high.
6. Meticulous cleaning is extremely important if one is engaged in spiritual life. A sharp mind that detects flaws and dirt easily and quickly, will also be able to detect the subtle workings of the mind in the same manner. The mind will be clear, sharp and subtle. If one is careless and slip-shod in performing household tasks, one will not be able to see the defects in one's mind clearly; one will always be blaming others when the shortcomings are really in one's own mind. This is a very important spiritual truth to remember.
7. If parents arouse in their Spiritual Darlings the desire for progress and perfection in the tasks they undertake, there will be a great deal of love, harmony and co-operation between them. Everything will then become interesting, and will help in drawing on each other's energy and building a family spirit of togetherness.
MORE CHALLENGING TASKS
The objective of more challenging tasks is to:
1. Develop the head, heart and hand.
2. Develop will-power and greater concentration.
3. Awaken creative potential.
4. Stimulate mental muscles.
5. Develop a sense of responsibility.
6. Develop alternate ways of becoming self-sufficient.
7. Learn to serve others.
It is the duty of parents to encourage such tasks without fear of failure. Naturally, in the beginning one must expect a certain amount of failure. Here again, the supportive role of the parents is vital. Spiritual Darlings should graduate from the day-to-day chores like repairing, painting, washing, cooking, etc. to higher levels.
As already stated, one of the basic principles that must be inculcated in young minds is the principle that life throbs in all material things. As all things come from the Divine, all articles are God's forms. In this way they will learn to treat inanimate objects with greater respect and care.
Today, the will of most individuals is weak. Otherwise, why should there be so many divorces and suicides? Why should there be so much disharmony and conflicts at home? Why should there be disruption in schools? If the will is strong, one will have strength, courage, patience and the forgiving nature. Difficult and challenging tasks help one to develop the will.
It must be borne in mind that academic skills alone will not help the Spiritual Darling to have a strong will. A spiritual life, coupled with challenging tasks will develop a strong will.
Spiritual Darlings must be taught that all tasks are worship of God if done in the right spirit with perfection, love and dedication. Parents should also perform those tasks that may be generally regarded as menial, so that the Spiritual Darlings are not brought up with the idea that they are not supposed to be doing menial tasks. As much attention should be paid to cleaning the toilet as to arranging flowers in a vase on the table.
Challenging skills should be taught and learnt together with the Spiritual Darlings. Parents may use skilled people to teach the following tasks:
Tiling, basic carpentry like shelving, painting, plumbing, printing, building, sewing, crocheting, knitting, cooking, baking, use of computers, typing, music, flower-making, etc.
Allow for spoilage and mistakes. Guard against injury. We may sum up by saying that all these tasks have one main objective: To train the mind and move towards God. To acquire degrees and to earn money is a comparatively easy task, but to train and discipline the mind is not at all so easy. The start must be made early in life. The more hardships, problems and challenges one encounters in early life, all the better. They will make one strong to face greater problems in later life. This should always be remembered.
A BALANCED DIET
Health is of greater value than gold, wealth and any other kind of treasure. Parents should ensure that this treasure is passed onto their Spiritual Darlings.
Food has the most powerful influence over one's mind, health, behaviour, attitude and conduct. Therefore, one has to understand the effects of different types of foods, and instill good eating habits within the family.
The best way to enjoy good health is to live in tune with nature. Sunshine, pure water, pure air, exercise, a healthy and wholesome diet, and sound sleep, are the essentials of healthy living.
1. We have to learn to combine the different foods in such a manner that the body gets all the nutrients it needs.
2. Fresh vegetables and fruit are the main ingredients of a balanced diet.
3. Fruit are nutritious because they have a high content of vitamins and mineral salts. They impart vigour and vitality and preserve health. They calm the passions, stimulate the intellect and control feverish activity. Because fruit are digested so easily they give the body energy at once.
4. Fruit juices are powerful antiseptics. The acids in them can destroy nearly all germs. Juices also promote digestion. While dried fruit still retain energy, they lose their vitamins. It is best to eat fresh ripe fruit.
5. Vegetables may be divided into three classes: leafy greens, roots and tubers, and fruit or seed vegetables.
Leafy vegetables combined with pulses make a perfect combination. Leaves are a storehouse of mineral salts and vitamins.
Potatoes are the most important among the tubers and contain iron, vitamin C and starch.
Carrots are important to form blood, build up resistance and strengthen the eyes.
6. Parents should try to understand why meat-eating affects the growth and behaviour of people. During the slaughtering process animals are under severe stress. They produce stress chemicals. So by consuming flesh one will be ingesting such chemicals.
Dr Joseph Barnes, in his article entitled, Meat, Mind & Madness, says: "When we eat the flesh of animals we also consume the hormones, uric acid and other waste products that were present in the blood at the time of slaughter, and with which the flesh was saturated. If these animals were under stress at the time of slaughter, would we not ingest stress chemicals when we eat their flesh? And would we not somehow reflect the terror and emotional distress of another animal in our behaviour? Could this eventually be a contributing factor in driving many of us mad?"
Sattwic Foods: Milk and milk products, cereals such as maize, barley, wheat, oatmeal, fresh fruit and vegetables, white pumpkin, cauliflower, potatoes, almonds, nuts, brown sugar, honey, etc. These foods calm and purify the mind.
Rajasic Foods: Meat, fish, eggs, tea, coffee, chillies, pickles, too much sweets, fried foods, white sugar, white flour, pastries and foods producing wind, create restlessness and generate passion.
Tamasic Foods: Beef, pork, drugs, alcoholic drinks, garlic, onions, all stale, rotten and unclean foods, and all half-cooked foods make one dull, lethargic and lazy.
Parents should always keep in mind that purity of food leads to purity of mind. A vegetarian diet is highly conducive to spiritual advancement of the whole family. We should "eat to live and not live to eat", writes our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda in his books.
PRAYER & SERVICE
Regular daily prayer at home in the morning and evening should form the most important routine of both parents and their Spiritual Darlings.
Early morning meditation, evening Satsang, repetition of the Sri Ram or any other Mantra during the day, reading the Divine Master's books, study of the Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagavata should be taken up either daily or weekly. Regular attendance at Satsangs and Yoga Camps is a must for all. Likhit Japa and some Asanas must be practised by all Spiritual Darlings from an early age.
Selfless service should form an integral part of the life of both parents and Spiritual Darlings. And in this, charity and sharing should play an important part. Our Divine Master was without parallel in the art of charity.
In order to inculcate the spirit of giving, parents should take care to allow the child to make the offering at Satsangs and at places of worship.
Children love to give. Once, a child noticing her father taking out money from his pocket to offer to his Guru, grew eager and impatient to make her offering also, and at once began emptying her father's pocket! Needless to say, the delighted father allowed her to do so.
In conclusion, we may state that that home is heaven on earth where both parents and Spiritual Darlings do daily Bhajan, pray together and lead the Divine Life. Such a home will enjoy peace and harmony.
HUMANE EDUCATION
It has already been pointed out that according to the teachings of the sages and our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, God dwells in all names and forms. That is why our Spiritual Darlings are taught to respect and treat with care even inanimate objects like a chair, table, etc. If such is the case, care and respect for animals, birds. and plants should be even more so.
Parents must inculcate in Spiritual Darlings reverence and protection of nature, and love and kindness for birds, animals and plants. Kindness and compassion for all dumb creatures should be developed from early childhood. Any type of cruelty to animals indulged in by children in early life will have a repercussion in later life.
There have been many cases reported where children who were cruel to animals, later turned out to be murderers. When Spiritual Darlings commence to be cruel, whether in relation to their playmates or towards animals and birds, it is a sign that should alarm their parents.
Allowing Spiritual Darling to be cruel to animals will root out from their tender hearts every feeling of compassion and pity. It is true that treatment of animals has an influence on the character of the Spiritual Darling.
Parents should take time off to teach their Spiritual Darlings how to be kind to animals. They should be taught that kindness and mercy to human beings are virtues of true manhood and womanhood. Regular daily prayer, Bhajan and attendance at the Yoga Camps will be futile if Spiritual Darlings practise cruelty towards animals and birds.
The practice of kindness to helpless creatures is of greater value in the formative years than arithmetic, reading and writing. Such training would make Spiritual Darlings more responsible individuals, nobler adults and better citizens.
Animals are part of our world. They feel pain and hunger just like human beings. The life of our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, is a most illuminating example of how to show kindness and compassion to animals, birds, snakes and fish. He upheld the rights of animals, and showed strong disapproval if anyone infringed upon their freedom.
Spiritual Darlings must be taught that every kindness shown, every service rendered, either to a person or to a dumb creature, does them more good than the one for whom they do it.
Under no circumstances should parents allow Spiritual Darlings to undertake animal experiments at school. The vivisecting of small animals is a ghastly deed, and destroys all sentiments of love, compassion and kindness in the hearts of children.
Learning to be kind and just to all helpless life, will help Spiritual Darlings to develop their character. It will instil in their young hearts a sense of responsibility, pity and compassion, thus preparing them to become nobler citizens.
PLANTS & FLOWERS
Even plants and flowers should not be unnecessarily plucked or damaged. Plants like the tulsi, vilwa and the lotus are very sacred in the Hindu religion. These plants have particular spiritual vibrations. Many flowers, too, have their own specific vibrations. The tulsi is dear to Lord Krishna and signifies devotion. The bougainvillaea signifies protection.
Vishnu Swami, a disciple of our Master experimented with plants at his Ashram in Val Morin, Canada. He placed a set of plants outside in the garden and another in his prayer hall. He discovered that the plants in the prayer hall were more luscious and healthier than those left outside, clearly proving that plants respond to spiritual vibrations.
SIVANANDA NATURE RESERVE
The "Sivananda Nature Reserve" at the SICC, La Mercy, is unique in South Africa. In a beautifully carpeted section there are display cabinets with duratrans of eye-catching exotic birds, flowers, animals, insects, fish, reptiles, scenic wonders, etc. Appropriate sayings educate both young and old to have reverence for life, and how to protect nature. The walls are adorned with colourful pictures of animals, birds, etc., providing fascinating information on their life-style and habitat. The endangered species are also displayed.
At the SICC, Spiritual Darlings often encounter snakes, but they are not afraid of them and do not harm them. Sometimes, live animals are brought to the Yoga Camp. It is a wonderful sight to see the love and compassion shining through the eyes of our Spiritual Darlings for their dumb friends, and how they fondle them so tenderly.
Not unoften, our Spiritual Darlings take tender care of injured creatures. Recently, a pigeon with a broken wing, that the vet said should be put to sleep, was successfully nursed back to perfect health by one of our Spiritual Darlings. Regular prayer for its recovery formed an integral part of its treatment. After two weeks it was released and flew off to freedom with great joy.
SELF-CONTROL
The following story is by Mother Mirra of Sri Aurobindo Ashram:
In a town in the north of France I once knew a boy who was frank by nature but impetuous and always liable to lose his temper. I said to him one day, "Which do you think is more difficult for a strong boy like you, to give blow for blow and let fly your fist in the face of a friend who insults you, or at that moment to keep your fist in your pocket?"
"To keep it in my pocket," he replied.
"And which do you think is more worthy of a brave boy like you, to do the easier or the more difficult thing?"
"The more difficult thing," he said after a moment of hesitation.
"Well then, try to do it the next time you get an opportunity."
Some time later, the young boy came to tell me, not without legitimate pride, that he had been able to do "the more difficult thing".
He said, "One of my work-mates, who is known for his bad temper, struck me in a moment of anger. Since he knows that normally I am not one to forgive and that I have a strong arm, he was preparing to defend himself, when I remembered what you had told me. It was harder for me than I thought, but I put my fist in my pocket. And as soon as I did that, I felt no more anger in me, I only felt sorry for my friend. So I held out my hand to him. That surprised him so much that he stood looking at me for a moment, open-mouthed, without speaking. Then he seized my hand, shook it vigorously and said with emotion, "Now you can do what you like with me, I am your friend for ever." The boy had controlled his anger.
A CHALLENGE
The anti-TV campaign of the Divine Life Society commenced in December 1992. I told our Spiritual Darlings at the Yoga Camp to give up TV completely, or view it for not more than an hour and a half every week, and that, too, only those programmes selected by us. Unfortunately, the Yoga Camp teachers did not monitor their programmes effectively.
Today, the problem of TV has become extremely acute and we now found it necessary to request all our devotees, both young and old, to take a vow and give up the habit of viewing TV completely. This campaign was initiated on 20 July, 1997, when we celebrated the holy Guru Purnima.
The widespread violence, sexual crimes, suicides, indiscipline amongst both children and adults, high divorce rate, etc., made us take the above decision. Our views have been supported by concerned individuals all over the world that TV is the cause of most of the problems that we are facing today.
Our devotees, both adults and Spiritual Darlings, rallied courageously to the call, and the current figure—as at May 10, 1998—of those who have signed the pledge form not to indulge in viewing TV is 1 012. Of this number 25 belong to two other institutions and 2 adults are Muslims who have also signed the pledge form not to view TV. This voluntary Tapas on the part of our devotees is indeed a fit and noble offering to our Master, Sri Swami Sivananda.
Devotees are not restricted from seeing videos on religious themes, like the Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagavata, etc. But here also there should be adequate restraint, as our Master tells us that prolonged viewing may affect the eyesight and lead to other adverse effects.
WHAT THE SAINTS SAY ABOUT TV
More than 40-50 years ago, three of the greatest spiritual personalities of this age asked people not to view cinema scenes. As is well-known, our Divine Master, Sri Swami Sivananda, was adamant in this respect. His views are given in his books.
Paramahansa Yogananda, founder of the world famous Self Realization Fellowship and author of the best-seller, Autobiography of a Yogi, who drew massive crowds to his lectures, asked his listeners to give up TV and the radio. This can be heard on a tape in which he gives a discourse.
Mother Mirra of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, who was one of the greatest occultists of this age, also spoke about the cinema. Mother had God-realisation in France even before the age of 10. She used to also have the vision of Lord Krishna.
Here is what the Mother says about the cinema, in a talk given to the children of Sri Aurobindo Ashram on 7 September, 1955.
"What is curious is that, going back two or three centuries, people who were uncultured were gross, but their grossness resembled that of animals, and there was not much perversion in it; there was a little, because as soon as the mind is there, perversion comes in, but there was not a great deal of perversion. But now, what does not rise to the mountain-peak, what remains on ground-level, is absolutely perverted in its grossness, that is, it is not only ignorant and stupid, it is ugly, dirty and repugnant, it is deformed, it is wicked, it is very low. And it is indeed the wrong use of the mind which has produced this.
"There are things, things considered very pretty nowadays. I have seen photographs or reproductions which are considered very fine but they are frightfully vulgar in their perversion, and yet people go into ecstasies over them and find them pretty! It is because there is something deformed, not only without culture, not only undeveloped, but deformed, something that is much worse, because it is much more difficult to restore something perverted and deformed than to enlighten something ignorant and uneducated. Well, I think some things have been great instruments of perversion, and among these one may put the cinema. It could have been, and I hope it will become, an instrument of education and development; but for the moment it has been an instrument of perversion, and a truly hideous perversion; perversion of taste, consciousness and everything with a terrible moral and physical ugliness. Yet it is something which can be used for education, progress, culture and artistic development."
We must note that what the three saints have said above was said more that 40-50 years ago. What they would have said today, had they been in our midst, we leave it to readers to judge.
Whatever the experts and others have to comment about our Anti-TV Campaign, our only answer is that we are following the God-realised saints, so our judgement cannot be wrong.
(Articles "Self-Control" & "What the Saints Say About TV"—Courtesy: Trustees, Sri Aurobindo Ashram.)
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