If Muhammad Saad al-Beshi were a barber and someone asked to “take a few inches off the top,” the result would be disastrous.
The following post contains graphic descriptions of violence. Reader discretion is advised.
Bound. Gagged. Blindfolded. Hopeless, yet surrounded. Muhammad Saad al-Beshi’s victims cry, but no one will see their tears. Even if someone did, no one would care. As Saudi Arabia’s leading executioner, al-Beshi has killed hundreds who have been sentenced to death for such grave crimes as having sex outside of marriage. He’s also known to get choppy with hands to punish teenagers who steal packs of gum. After a hard day’s work of removing heads and hands, al-Beshi returns home to his wife and seven children. “Hey, dad, how was work?” “It was a bloody mess. Those kuffar (infidels) always spray so much out of their necks.”
“As long as I’m doing God’s will, it doesn’t matter how many people I execute.” You mean… as long as you’re doing the will of the fanatical Muslims in power in Saudi Arabia. How many psychologically-warped serial killers have cited divine will as their motive? al-Beshi is using the barbaric sharia system of Saudi Arabia to, quite literally, get away with murder. “In this country we have a society that understands God’s law. No one is afraid of me. I have a lot of relatives, and many friends at the mosque, and I live a normal life like everyone else. There are no drawbacks for my social life.” People probably just pretend not to be afraid of him so they can remain whole.
al-Beshi has said he allows his children to clean his sword after executions. Whether or not “cleaning his sword” is a euphemism for oral sex is unknown. al-Beshi is probably sword-happy because his own sword is sorely lacking in length. He has trained one of his sons to be an executioner… trained, right, because swinging a sword at a sitting target requires so much skill. “[My sword] is very sharp. People are amazed how fast it can separate the head from the body.” However, it’s nowhere near as fast as the speed at which the mind is separated from reality when a person converts to islam.
“I am very proud to do God’s work.” Clearly, al-Beshi’s god is a bloodthirsty psychopath. Watch “God’s will” being carried out (GRAPHIC)
Abd al-Qader Shiba al-Hamad demonstrating how he handles a male prostitute’s ass
Saudi Islamic cleric Abd al-Qader Shiba al-Hamad (not to be confused with Shiba Inu, a breed of dog) is a soulless bastard, and not just because he has ginger facial hair. A teacher at the al-Nabawi mosque in Medina, al-Hamad teaches children about the Qur’an – specifically, the violent anti-gay passages in the Qur’an.
The semi-fossilized old Muslim began: “[Homosexuality] is a great corruption. A great corruption. Our lord was not satisfied – when he tortured the tribe of Lot – with merely killing or burning them. Since what they do goes against human nature, [the Koran says]: ‘We turned the city upside down and rained upon them brimstones hard as clay.’” If anyone tries to tell you that Islam is tolerant of homosexuals, they’re engaging in taqiyya, the Islamic doctrine that lying is acceptable to preserve or save the face of Islam.
Not one to veer from his favorite subject of anal sex, al-Hamad explained that some of the first followers of Muhammad were caught getting it on. Citing numerous passages from the Hadith, he began smiling like the crazed madman he is when discussing the foundations of the possible punishments for homosexuality under the sharia.
“When word came from Syria, the Prophet’s companions convened and wondered what to do. One group said that they must be punished according to the punishment for fornication: A fornicator who was a virgin is flogged, and a non-virgin fornicator is stoned. A second group said, no. Let’s put them… Let’s behead them by sword – both his neck and hers… the man’s neck… I mean the necks of both men are cut with a sword. Then they are placed on a coffin, and the coffin is burned. Their coffin is burned after they were killed. A third group said: Neither this way nor that. Let’s climb to the top of the highest mountain and roll them down the mountain until they are killed.” Yep, religion of peace. Completely compatible with Western society. A good influence in our communities. …wake up, folks. The LGBT community will be among the first that Islamists target wherever their madness is allowed to spread.
In conclusion, al-Hamad: get fucked.
Driving is something most of us in the west take for granted. In Saudi Arabia, it’s become a major issue: women aren’t allowed to drive. If a woman is caught driving, she is arrested and lashed for this grievous offense. I can understand not allowing women to drive in the name of safety, but Saudi Arabia’s reasoning for the ban is a lot more complex than that.
Professor Kamal Subhi is one of the main proponents of the country’s ban on women drivers. Subhi and several colleagues conducted a biased, scientifically-invalid (in other words, sharia-compliant) study for the king of Saudi Arabia to assess the effects of women driving, aside from the obvious: disproportionate increases in accidents and parallel-parking mishaps.
The findings of Subhi’s study were spurious at best and hilarious at worst. The study cited other Islamic countries in which women are allowed to drive and the apparent “moral decline” in those countries. Subhi even postulated that, if women were allowed to drive, “within ten years, there will be no more virgins left in the kingdom [of Saudi Arabia].” Hmm, I wonder where Muslims can find virgins?
Another finding of the study was that allowing women to drive would lead to increases in homosexuality and pornography consumption. Yes, because driving will turn people gay. It is suspected that driving with a stick is a cause of this odd phenomenon.
Subhi described his visit to a more liberal Islamic country: “One [woman] made a gesture that made it clear she was available… this is what happens when women are allowed to drive.” No, Subhi, the middle finger does not mean she wants you to finger her, it means she thinks you’re a giant douchebag. Which you are. Anyway, the ruling council of Saudi Arabia accepted Subhi’s study, and have decided to continue to lash women for driving to the grocery store.
WARNING: Keep away from babies. May be eye and brain irritant.
Babies are sexy beasts. So sexy, in fact, that men feel an uncontrollable urge to rape them. At least, this is, according to Saudi sheikh Abdullah Daoud. Horny and unable to keep his hand out of the proverbial cookie jar, Daoud issued a fatwa in an attempt to curb the temptations he was facing: baby girls must wear the burqa (full face veil.)
Daoud was very forward when asked to explain his fatwa: he cited statistics regarding child rape as justification for veiling babies. The thing is, Daoud’s probably responsible for a ton of those rapes, and we all know that plenty of Muslims like ‘em young since they think Muhammad (pigs be upon him) was a moral and behavioral exemplar and he was all about that prepubescent pussy.
Daoud’s fatwa drew widespread criticism, including one sheikh’s comment that it “made Sharia look bad.” Actually, I think the burqa in general makes sharia look bad, along with the severed limbs, hanged gays, and flogged women.
Today’s post is about tits. Now that I’ve caught the straight male and lesbian readers’ attention, let’s begin. Saudi Sheikh Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican came into the spotlight with a most peculiar fatwa: grown men can drink women’s breast milk. Why? So they can legally spend time alone together. Apparently in Islam, a man drinking a woman’s breast milk causes the two to become related. Unrelated men and women are not allowed to spend time alone in private together in Saudi Arabia because they might have sex, and that’s like the worst thing ever – they’ll get pregnant, get AIDS, and die. al-Abaican said that the man should squeeze the milk into a cup instead of drinking directly from the breast. The general reaction, even in the Islamic world, was:
Another sheikh, Abu Ishaq al-Huwayni, said that drinking directly from the breast is fine. His ruling likely stems from the fact that doing so is a huge turn-on for him. Yet another sheikh, Bassam al-Shatti, said that breast-suckling during foreplay is acceptable but agreed with al-Abaican that men should not deliberately suck a woman’s breast for milk in another context.
al-Abaican is an advisor to Saudi royalty. To gain prominence in politics, normally there’s a ton of ass-kissing involved. Perhaps this crazy fatwa came about when al-Abaican grew tired of kissing ass and instead wanted to squeeze tits.
Contrary to many Islamists’ beliefs, tablecloths aren’t making a comeback this season.
Saudi Islamic cleric Abd al-Aziz Fawzan al-Fawzan is a typical Islamist: spiteful toward the west, a horrible sexist, and major fashion criminal. A well-renowned author and sheikh, he is a professor of Islamic (sharia) law at Imam Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic University. That university is also believed to offer classes in suicide vest preparation, floor-licking technique, and methods to butcher infidels. He claims Western values go against Islamic values, and has claimed that globalization has failed because western values imported into Muslim countries have been a corrupting influence. Many in the west believe globalization has failed due to liberals’ inability to recognize that some cultures simply cannot coexist. He also stated that Christianity is polytheistic and tried to incite hatred against the religion: “Don’t you hate the faith of such a polytheist who says God is one third of a trinity, or who worships Christ, son of Mary?” …actually, I hate the faith of a person who believes a child-molesting warlord is a divinely-ordained moral exemplar. al-Fawzan asserts that globalization has brought homosexuality and fornication to the Muslim world. I’m pretty sure the Muslim world has been engaging in all sorts of sex for a long time, freequently of the old-man-on-little-girl variety. al-Fawzan called upon Muslims to be wary of fatwas that could pave the way toward the legitimization of homosexuality and adultery. al-Fawzan declares his native Saudi Arabia the “most conservative” Islamic cuntry, adding “Allah be praised.” He supports the nation’s ban on female drivers, but not for the obvious safety hazards associated with women behind the wheel. He claims that allowing women to drive would westernize society and bring it down. It might cause endless fender-benders, but destroying society is the job of sharia law and, in the west, socialism. al-Fawzan then called all women who show their faces “harlots.” This one will make your blood boil. “I don’t think that any woman, throughout human history, has been as oppressed as the western woman today.” Wait. WHAT?!
Tell that to every woman who’s had acid thrown in her face because she stood up for herself, every girl who’s been stoned to death or beaten for kissing, every woman who’s forced to dress like a ninja or face violence. Tell that to every woman who’s been raped for not being accompanied by a man, every girl whose genitals have been mutilated in the name of Islam, every woman who fears each night she’ll be beaten if she doesn’t sexually serve her controlling husband. All this, and you still have the gall to say that western countries are “exploiting [women's] honor” by allowing them to work and live as they please? With all my heart, fuck you, Abd al-Aziz Fawzan al-Fawzan. I hope your 72 virgins are lesbians and don’t let you watch.
Assim Alhakeem fantasizing about the sex life he never had
“What good is a man without jealousy? In Islam, such a person is called Dayyooth. What good is a woman who is not bashful or shy? This is known as the rajilah among women, [she] who acts and behaves like men. Both are in hell as indicated by the prophet Muhammad [pigs be upon him]. Do you know anyone around you who is like that?” Saudi Islamic cleric Assim Alhakeem is kinda like a Baptist preacher from the southern US: he really likes to talk about hell and divine wrath. With over 40,000 fans on Facebook, Alhakeem rants about Muslims who don’t strictly adhere to the Qur’an and instead turn to evil, sinful western culture, ranging from the aforementioned independent women to any Muslim who opposes sharia as a system of government. He has specific objections to the consumption of pork and the use of antidepressants; he claims Muslims struggling with mental health issues should pray about it before resorting to potentially-sinful western medicine. Choosing the Qur’an over professional medical help is quite possibly why so many Muslims turn their intestines into murals. “Are you a citron, a date, basil, or a colocynth plant? The prophet Muhammad [pigs be upon him] told us that people are one of four. The Muslims who recite the Qur’an are similar to citron; sweet in both taste and smell.” Alhakeem then goes on to explain how Muslims who don’t recite the Qur’an smell bad. Turns out anyone with poor hygiene smells bad (hippie liberals, this means YOU!) And from the looks of the Muslims I write about on here, a lot of ‘em stink. Perhaps they haven’t been reciting the Qur’an… or maybe that’s exactly what they’ve been doing, and in doing so have forgotten to bathe and groom themselves. Before diving into the next round of craziness, here are a couple more delightful quotes from Alhakeem: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to attend the funeral of a non-Muslim.” You know how Muslims hate non-Muslim holidays due to the lack of violence involved in the celebrations? Alhakeem hates New Year’s: “As for celebrating the New Year with the disbelievers or congratulating them for it, this totally prohibited as this is part of their feasts.” Alhakeem even joined in the anti-Christmas cacophony of 2012: Watch Alhakeem is in favor of instating Islamic Sharia governments. He calls upon Muslims to support Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi and condemns anyone who supports democracy (the mythical “moderate Muslim”) as an apostate: “Like Libya, Syria and Tunisia, Egypt is boiling as well. In Egypt, Islam is clearly being targeted. The new constitution has been written and in 10 days time, the people should go to the poles to vote whether to take it or leave it. This is what the so called democracy is all about. Yet the powers of evil don’t want such democracy that doesn’t serve their goals. These violent protests of a corrupt minority intend to bring Egypt to its knees even if the cost was burning it to the ground. I believe that Allah is with our brothers in Egypt and Islam will prevail. However, it is worth saying that whoever rejects the new constitution because it is based on Islam, he is an apostate, even if he prays and fasts. Whoever says that we don’t want an Islamic state is an apostate. Therefore, people of Egypt! Beware of losing your faith and the hereafter as well. Back your Muslim president before the army intervenes and all the gains would turn into losses.” On gays, Alhakeem’s thoughts rival those of the Westboro Baptist Church in both depth and depravity: “Homosexuality… takes all the bashfulness and good character of people and turns them into animals that seek only their sexual satisfaction through weird ways.” Yes, because two men or two women who love each other having sex is so much weirder than an old man violating his 9-year-old wife. Prophet Muhammad, I’m looking at you. Remember, this dude has 40,000 fans on Facebook, which is alarming considering his obvious opposition to civilized beliefs. I suggest people bombard his Facebook wall with images of lesbian bacon wrestling.
Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid is too stupid to realize his religiosity is the reason he’s still a virgin.
Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid was the first ever Muslim to be featured on this site. I had no idea where the site was going at that point and didn’t really research each Muslim like I do now, hence why the post was shorter than al-Munajjid’s penis, which is really saying something. Here’s the real rundown on al-Munajjid, the cleric who blamed Hurricane Sandy and the 2004 Thailand tsunami on disobedience toward Allah. This one’s a doozy. Let’s begin with a quote from al-Munajjid. “…some cartoon characters, such as dogs, pigs, and mice – reprehensible animals according to the Sharia – are glorified in animated films… it is inappropriate to show such things to people, and that a mouse is a ‘little corrupter,’ which should be killed in all cases.” Wait, what? He wants animated mice to be killed? The reason he even mentioned this was that he was backpedaling on a statement he had made calling for the slaying of Mickey Mouse. Yes, that’s right, folks: Islamists want to kill Mickey Mouse, who teaches children moral values. Let’s not forget poor Piglet or his distant cousin Pumba… al-Munajjid concluded by saying, “Nobody who knows Mickey Mouse is a cartoon character would ever issue a fatwa that it should be killed. It can only be killed in the world of fantasies, movies, and dreams.” Does his use of the word “fantasies” seem a little odd and disturbing to anyone else? al-Munajjid also said that women must be subservient to their men and sexually please them even when it is against the woman’s wishes. He criticized western relationships for allowing women the freedom to refuse their husbands, claiming “Allah knows the needs of men.” Of course Allah knows – a bunch of horny men invented him and built a society around him so they could get away with raping kids! al-Munajjid also declared it was against Islam to take a non-Muslim as a friend or to live with a non-Muslim unless the Muslim is there to evangelize. He quoted the prophet Muhammad (pigs be upon him): “I disown the one who stays among the [infidel].” He has openly agreed with the sharia ruling that anyone who insults the prophet Muhammad (pigs be upon him) should be executed. Further proof that Islam is not compatible with western values, never has been, and never will be.
People often blame video games for violence, but it seems video games have a much better track record than books. Raise your kids right. Let them play games instead of reading.
“With regard to the criticism of [female] circumcision by some doctors, and their claim that it is harmful both physically and psychologically, this criticism of theirs is not valid. It is sufficient for us Muslims that something be proven to be from the Prophet (pigs be upon him), then we will follow it, and we are certain that it is beneficial and not harmful. If it were harmful, Allah and His Messenger (pigs be upon him) would not have prescribed it for us.” Oh really, now? You’re going to trust a book written when the world was believed to be flat instead of modern medicine? You just went from crazy to downright retarded. And if Allah didn’t want Muslims to do anything that was harmful to them, why do so many Muslims wage jihad and explode like bad diarrhea? On homosexuality: al-Munajjid says it “goes against the pure human nature created by Allah” and is responsible for the destruction of families. Actually, suicide bombing destroys more families than homosexuality, but a rabid Islamist like al-Munajjid is willfully blind to that truth. He added that homosexuality should be “stamped out” and spent a great deal of time rambling about different Islamic scholars’ rulings on how to kill gays, as if he took some sort of sick pleasure in it. The sharia punishments range from gays being set on fire to decapitated to partially buried and stoned. al-Munajjid’s glee is not surprising, considering he’s a Muslim and the ultra-violent Qur’an is their porn. “We have counted almost 70 rules about how to urinate and defecate. In contrast, how do those beasts in the west answer the call of nature? They stand in front of other people, in toilets at airports and other public places. They do not care about covering their private parts. Even their underwear is colored and not white…” So Islam is like Mormonism and all Muslims have to wear magic underwear? I am shaking my head so hard right now I’m about to get whiplash. I sincerely hope someone shows al-Munajjid the 2 girls 1 cup video (I know that’s so 2008, but come on, it’d be funny.) As if his beliefs on rape didn’t already put him in the douchebag hall of fame, this sure will (he cited the Qur’an itself!): “Allah has commanded the testimony of two women so as to be sure that they remember, because the mind and memory of two women takes the place of the mind and memory of one man.” So… lemme get this straight, Lil Wayne’s testimony is worth twice that of Marie Curie? If this dude were trying to make a joke of his religion, that’d be one thing, but he’s serious. He really is everything that is wrong with Islam rolled up into a fat, hairy ball. al-Munajjid’s website To conclude, I found this #shitmuslimssay gem while researching al-Munajjid on an Islamic forum:
Aside from having one of the longest names in recorded history, Saudi Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi was a rather ordinary guy before he discovered radical Islam. He worked as a doctor (who likely wrote prescriptions for camel piss to cure all ailments) and his wife worked as a full-time bedsheet model, the #1 career for women in Saudi Arabia. After the U.S. began war in Afghanistan and Iraq, al-Balawi researched terror groups and grew increasingly radicalized. His wife supported him in this endeavor.
After years of reading and networking with jihadis online, al-Balawi decided it was time for him to act against the evil infidels. As a doctor, he was used to blood and guts, so it didn’t seem much of a stretch for him to splatter his all over everywhere. He strapped on a suicide vest (now only $19.95 at select locations!) and claimed to have information regarding a known terrorist. The CIA invited him to one of their bases in Afghanistan with open arms.
Before making like Ke$ha’s “Blow,” the theme song of Islam, al-Balawi revealed the depths of his lunacy in a video released to the Taliban. He claimed his suicide was to avenge CIA-ordered assassinations of Taliban and al Qaeda militants. Knowing his message (and entrails) would be spread after his death, al-Balawi blew himself up while on the CIA base, killing six.
After the doctor’s detonation, his wife was interviewed. She said she supported him in his martyrdom and she knew he never really had any information to provide to the CIA. The Taliban tried to recreate this attack on December 26, 2012. Three were killed in that blast.