couple

  C O N V E N T I O N A L   C O U P L E - S P I R I T U A L   C O U P L E

We all have wished a perfect, sublime relationship with an opposite sex human being.
Some of us succeeded by the first time, others succeeded after many failed tries, and others are still looking for. But don't worry about this, because "everybody has his own half" as an ancient proverb tells us. Sooner or later, you and your lover will become to enjoy the most sublime aspects of love, depending on how fast you will be aware of the REALITY.

It is essential to understand the typical mistakes usually done in a so named normal or conventional couple. From the beginning this kind of a relationship is supposed to be a failure. Being aware of our mistakes we can build up a perfect affair according to our best ideals.

Here it is a comparative analysis of the two types of couple, the conventional one, and the spiritual one.

CONVENTIONAL COUPLE	SPIRITUAL COUPLE
Closed process The couple motivations aren't clarified. For the most of the times, the couple is modelling having a standard pattern established by the others and not after the self-inner standards. It is preferred the security, the stability, the transformation is avoided. That is why the individual evolution is very slow. Everybody tries hard to be according the other one's image of him (her); he (she) isn't acting in a free way. He (she) doesn't do what he (she) feels.	Opened process It is clearly set up the spiritual purpose, the common objectives that constitute the foundation of the relationship. The mutual recognition of the other one's freedom. The both lovers honestly and openly express what are they, what do they want and what are their targets. The transformations are accepted, there is no jealousy, and this is the reason for that the individual evolution is very fast.
Doubt The closed process provokes a less of self-confidence and a less of confidence in the other. You are attached, you feel dependent. You need the other for putting you in value.	Trust An opened process makes each of the lovers aware of their independence. You don't try to change the other one, you accept him/her as he/she is. You help him/her by your own presence.
Competition It appears the fight for powers (who gives orders?) and authority, conflicts of parts. The own interest comes first. The ego has the power.	Understanding Each lover has the same "rank", the same responsibilities. Each of them respects the other one's "space" and his (her) desire to be together or alone. Change of parts: you are here to help the other one to advance.
Dependency You have different point of view that you want to impose. You feel alone and unfulfilled. You are afraid of being abandoned.	Autonomy Each of them is self-sufficient, not dependent on the other one. The love confers safety. Each lover is opened to the other's desire of spiritual evolution. So, there is a good understanding of the "tools" used by everyone for spiritual development, (spiritual practice, spare time, travels, etc.). This drives to spontaneity and harmony.
Conditions The dependency provokes conditional exchanges. The relations are lead by rules, contract, and compels. The base of the relationship is the idea of truck: you offer if you get something in return, the attitudes are premeditated. Manipulation.	Liberty Autonomy provokes tolerance, detachment, and abandon. There is no longer the case of domination or possessiveness. They spontaneously explore together the joyful adventure of the aware evolution in two. Happiness, mutual confidence, harmony.
Boredom The lovers create rules because they don't enjoy any more spending the time together. They enter in a routine that destroys the creativity and the inventiveness. Each of them begins to think that the other one is his (her) cause of unhappiness and this is the reason for that she (he) must defend from the other one.	Creativity Constantly, the lovers play the loving game. This generates good mood. Spontaneity, inspiration, amusement. Spontaneous change of parts and duties. There are invented new ways of love. You feel really good and happy together.
Insecurity You have the feeling that something is missing, you do not exactly what is it, and you have feelings of fear, instability and culpability. You avoid the other one or you reproach him (her) a certain behaviour that upset you. You want to make a family hopping to find out a solution for the problem and to find more stability.	Security The profound love makes the stability feeling to appear. It can appear the wish of having a family, not because the lovers are afraid of losing one another, but in order to fulfil their spiritual purpose. The spiritual merging of the two lovers induces a superior security feeling.
Sensation of couple failure The impotence of changing the flow of events. Each lover begins to undervalue one another. It can appear resentments that can provoke even unbalance. Desperateness. You have the feeling that is nothing you can do. You see no way to bring back the harmony in the couple.	Perfect love Feeling of abnegation and devotion. The mutual devotion awakes the divine essence in both lovers and the mutual abnegation generates the good mood of the lovers. You exist for love. The love becomes cosmic so that you feel that God is the One who loves you throughout your lover.
Separation The only solution is the separation, the divorce. You experience the desperateness and the loneliness, that could yet be the opportunity of a transformation, of a possible discovering of the autonomy and freedom.	Unity The relationship is the opportunity to achieve the spiritual wedding or in other words the spiritual union of the two lovers. The lovers discover the primary love - the love between two archetypes, the male archetype and the female one. This love leads the lovers to UNITY, divine grace and blessing. They fulfil the ideal of any couple which is the discovering of the UNITY or in other words of the SUPREME REALITY.

http://sivasakti.com/articles/couple/couple-art32.html